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My name is Kyle,

I had been adopted in home with a mother that I really liked, but for the fifth time since being rescued by Marc, I have been returned to the rescue and now am back at the foundation.

This time - me coming back has been different from the past four times I had been returned. In this home I felt I mattered. In this home I felt I was somebody.

I thought it would be forever. I thought that someone finally understood my abusive past and why I was at the Animal Hope and Wellness Foundation in the first place.

My story is one of constant abuse. Of being hit in the chest with human fists. And kicked in the ribs by countless people - my previous owner and his friends.

I was a toy to them. Something that just existed. Something that they laughed at when they got drunk and high. Something that they tormented. On occasion I was forced to consume alcohol. On occasion I was literally fed scraps and starved just because my owner hated me more then I think he hated himself.

Through all of that I have survived. Through all of that I have persevered. But this last home, my mother abandoning me just when I thought I found some place that I belonged. It cut me deep. Crumbled my heart and left me wondering - will I never find a home.

I have been with Marc for over a year. A journey that has taken me from the clutches of an abusive hand, to a place that has been my sanctuary. Because of what I have been through, I have so many issues that even Marc is wondering if I will ever really find a home.

Because I have never had anything - I am very possessive over the toys I get. I do not like sharing. I do not like people trying to take my food from me. I do not like rules even though with Marc I listen to him.

I need training. I need to be understood. I need someone to be patient. I think I need a strong mom, or a father that can enforce rules with me. To show me how to live in a home, and be a part of a family.

I can nip and bite. Not hard, but still it's a fact. At my last home I bit her pillows when I got bored (something I even tried while being rehabbed with Marc although he wouldn't allow it). Acted like a crazy dog on walks sometimes when I see other dogs (even I get along with dogs).

Basically in the end my mother hated me too. She gave up on me, and while she did not torment or torture me like my first owner - the hole she left in my heart hurts so much more.

Marc said he will keep me as long as it takes, but really we are both desperate and doubting. And maybe, just maybe - the abusive and scars left on my heart is too much for anyone to love me.

Maybe just maybe - there will be no one out there who can love me.

Please share my story to help me find a home. My name is Kyle. I am about 4. And who I am matters...

In hope and wellness.